FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
