Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
