Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
