Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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