So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
party gras won. party gras always wins.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
