READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I wear drunk well.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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