there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
