oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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