Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
