Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
