We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
