Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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