I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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