Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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