please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I just found puke in my bra..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
