what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
