She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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