We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
