we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
