just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
