@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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