I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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