using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
