i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
being pregnant is like rehab
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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