standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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