my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just sent this text using only my big toe
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
