What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
