Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
handjob tips. give me some.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
