then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My dick has a subreddit
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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