Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
