Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
