? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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