Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
