All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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