You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
