I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
