she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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