if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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