yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
