Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Do you still have your period?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
