When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Life is so much better after having sex.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
