Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
