I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
