I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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