if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
