I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
