Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
