So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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