Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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