Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
