Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
