is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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