Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
