And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
third nipple confirmed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
